Saturday, March 27, 2010
Saturday Afternoon Funny: Let Us Pray With Pastor Manning Against the "Anti-Christ and Son of Satan" Barack Obama
You can pray for anything. I used to pray to God that I would get a remote control airplane from the Sears Wishbook. I worked really hard at it: "Oh Lord, God in heaven, will you please grant me the remote control airplane--or helicopter if one of the coolest airplanes in the Sears Wishbook is out of stock as that too would be acceptable--as I would be closer to you as I fly in the heavens and my parents would be made proud by my gifts of aeronautical skill."
Guess what? I didn't get the plane at Christmas. But you know what, God of things small and large has granted me health, laughs at me when I deserve it, saved my life on more than one occasion, loves me, got me Nintendo for Christmas (with Excitebike) when I was 11 and my dad was almost laid off from work, put my wisdom on the History Channel, and has allowed me to have sex with more than one Sikh woman--and yes, it was all you envious souls imagined it to be. Ultimately, God has been pretty damn cool to this simple respectable negro.
Trust, how many black men can say they went to pleasure town with a Sikh sister? 2 or 3--and one of them is me.
Crom, JC, the Most High, Yahweh, The Force, The Blessed Exchequer of The Great Material Continuum, Buddha, Allah, the grand life force, and the free hand of the market will hear this stupidity and laugh.
But be careful Pastor Manning as you just might get what you wish for...and who knows, maybe prayer is a two way street where respectable negroes everywhere are wishing you ironic, sad, and tragic misfortunes? Hell, if my prayer is heard you will find yourself awake tomorrow with a hot curling iron in your tuckus!
But God is likely not that cruel. Or is he?