Wednesday, July 29, 2009
More to Love is Quite Frankly, More to Love or Where are the Big Sistas on Fox Television's Newest Reality Dating Show?
Black folks can't have anything can we?
First they stole rock and roll. Then they took hair weaves...for the uninformed, hair weaves are now called "hair extensions." In the ultimate and final insult, "mainstream" i.e. White America has stolen black people's love of big beautiful women (well not just black folks as our Latino brothers call the thick sisters "gorditas") with the new reality dating show More to Love.
I love a good freak show. This fondness for the bizarre explains my unending appreciation of fat babies on Maury Povich, "the treeman" on the Discovery Network (what a poor, sad soul he is), Sober House, Intervention and Dr. Phil. More to Love is quite frankly more of the same--a bunch of sad, unhappy, mostly lonely and miserable people looking for love on network television.
It was also entertaining, almost too much so as I felt dirty watching a bunch of bbw's describe in sad detail the exploits (or lack thereof) of their dating lives. Please preempt your rush to judgment. I love women. I love them short, tall, thin, and thick. As the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. of race mixing, my ministry is dedicated to the holy truth that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Our mantra is simple: sometimes you want a petite cut of filet mignon; at other times you want some sushi; and then there are those moments when you want a Big Mac. The trick is to find the right meal at the right time.
But, one must be mindful of the trigonometry and physics of lovemaking across the body size divide because it is indeed true that sometimes even a 747 looks small landing inside the Grand Canyon (for a handy guide on negotiating this practical challenge see one of my favorite books).
Self-congratulatory moment: How can you not love that Tom Arnold/HHH/Oscar Wilde inspired turn of phrase?
The joy of More to Love is that the bachelor, a self-described "big teddy bear," only has one type of meal to choose from. The sadness of More to Love is going to be the sheer desperation of these poor women as they throw themselves at him. Too bad, because if these big beautiful women simply came over to the dark side they would never lack for attention again.
Some thoughts for those of you who watched the show.
1. Where are the big sistas? We have magazines like King and leading sex goddesses such as Buffy the Body but Fox can't find one thick, voluptuous black woman--not the 2 ambiguously brown folks they featured on last night's debut--to feature as contestants? Black folks are overachievers in the arms race that is an appreciation of the donkey booty. How, as innovators in the field, can Fox justify excluding us from More to Love?
2. Wasn't the woman who explained that she has only had 3 dates in her life, and none went past the first meeting, just pathetic? Was I the only one thinking that the dates don't get past step one because she probably sleeps with dude immediately after meeting him?
3. Now, some of the women were just big, as in not sexy big (trust me there is a difference). While others were tall and Amazonian, traits that to my eye are damn attractive and desirable. Are they simply unable to find men who would kill to bed their own personal Wonder Woman, or is it that these women have internalized a size zero beauty standard and therefore have no self-confidence?
4. I wonder what the viewing demographics are going to be for this show? I bet Fox is going to see a huge spike in viewership among black and Hispanic men between the ages of 18-80.
5. Ready for a little self-indulgence? I am.